What is Mediation?

Rather than spending extensive time and money on court hearings, many of our clients select mediation as an alternate option.  The Court system in NC now also requires mediation with regard to child custody and equitable distribution issues.  Therefore it makes sense to go ahead and attempt mediation voluntarily since it may be required later if a court action is filed.  Mediation is a method of dispute resolution that enables parties to resolve issues in a cooperative, creative, non-adversarial way with the help of a trained, neutral mediator.

Mediation basically means two parties (with or without attorneys) sitting down with a mediator and discussing each parties’ positions, interests and goals in an attempt to reach a resolution that is mutually agreeable to both parties.  Mediators use a combination of joint sessions (with all parties in the same room) and separate or “breakout” sessions with each party and their attorney separately.  The mediator is a person, usually an attorney who is trained and certified to conduct mediations. 

While there are some mediators who are not certified, we do not recommend mediating your family law issues with a mediator who is not certified by the NC Dispute Resolution Commission (NCDRC).  Additionally, in our opinion, it is best to mediate with a mediator who is also an attorney.  Attorney mediators have knowledge about NC laws and experience with the courts to assist you to making decisions and evaluate your options related to your specific case.  Both Paul Brock and Barri Payne are certified by the NCDRC as Family Financial Mediators and are trained to work with all issues of family law: child custody and child support, spousal support, and equitable distribution.

Mediation provides parties an opportunity to create unique, flexible agreements, which may be very different and much more satisfactory than what a Judge would order if you went to court.  Many parties also appreciate being part of the decision-making process and maintaining a sense of control over their own financial or custody situation.  These are your children and your assets -so who is better than you to make decisions about what is best for them? 

The process itself is also much more relaxed and much less adversarial than going to court.  If you are not comfortable being in a joint session, then the mediator will break the two parties into separate rooms and go back and forth between the two rooms discussing issues, relaying settlement offers, etc.  In addition, if you are there with your attorney, you can ask for private time with your attorney to seek advice or discuss issues.  

If an agreement is reached during mediation, that agreement can be signed and made into an enforceable contract or  court order or you can leave mediation with a memorandum of your agreement terms and have your attorney turn them into a formal separation agreement, contract or consent court order after mediation.  These contracts and court orders will be just as enforceable as any other contract or Court Order.  An Order reached through mediation is also subject to the same standards as a Court order for any future modifications.

Mediation is a voluntary process.  There is nothing about mediation that requires a definitive resolution.  All that will be required is that you participate in the process in good faith, with an open mind and give the process a chance to be successful.  We have seen resolutions reached even in very high conflict cases.  Mediation can be one or more sessions.  This can be beneficial in allowing parties to resolve only the issues that they want at a pace that is appropriate for their situation.

The mediation process is also confidential so you can feel free to share your thoughts and be assured that no one can testify in court later about what was said or offered at mediation.  This includes parties, attorneys and the mediator. 

In summary, we think you will find mediation to be a thoughtful, intelligent way to work together to find solutions for your family’s future.

Copyright © 2011 Partners in Mediation